Knowing what to expect and expecting to know are two very different things. Miles apart, in fact. No matter how well prepared one may be for a particular possible outcome, when it happens it still comes with all its attending emotional baggage and camps out with you for however long it wishes. Therefore, knowing via tarot that the guy you've been seeing is likely seeing someone else on the side doesn't help the heartbreak or anger. We also can't expect tarot to provide all the solutions. It does help with many things -- a kind of psychic weather prediction or roadmap, a projection into what is probable and likely -- but not definitive. And it can't make your decisions for you. It can be quite informational but what you do with that information, how you choose to form your thoughts about that information will make all the difference in the actual outcome of any given situation.
Getting a reading on a situation is great for exploring. Possibilities, options, directions. A reading can reveal our own attitudes, intentions, and confirm our own intuition, but in the end how we choose to think about the information is what will impact our own outcome no matter what the external outcome of the situation turns out to be. Keeping tabs on your ex may be interesting and satisfying to that part of you that can't seem to let go -- out of love or vengeance, no matter -- but if the reading shows they are happily going about their lives, shouldn't you do the same? We can go back to the reader a month later and ask what the ex has been up to OR we could choose to think differently about the information and use it to release ourselves to our own lives. Going back to the reader is satisfying on some level, but it's a futile action, keeping watch on others (outside our control) or situations (outside our control). We become mere observers in our own lives rather than actively creating and participating.
Many readers will refuse to read on the same topic/person/situation on these grounds. They believe more readings won't help, it amounts to spying, and/or the repetitive readings may enable someone in a kind of tarot dependence. I don't really subscribe to all of that and I will read on the same topic/person/situation multiple times for a client because They Aren't Done Yet. When they are done, they will stop. When they are able to choose their thoughts more effectively, they will stop. Some people require only one reading for this and others require multiple. Each person is at their own level or ability to control their thoughts about any given situation. The more emotionally triggered they are, the harder that is to accomplish.
So we get that we can't control outside events or other people. What if the problem is we cannot control our own thoughts? Marcus, dude, it's not that easy. It's really not easy but it is crucial to one's well being and happiness. I suck at meditation because I can't control my thoughts. They scatter like a herd of cats being chased by a herd of puppies. Then I learned this ---
Some situations will never feel okay. One may never feel "at peace" with a particular outcome. But one can accept it and move on. It's a choice, a conscious decision. We make mistakes. We fuck up. Bad things happen that are our fault, but if we allow guilt, regret, or fear of making the same mistake again to control our choices and decisions going forward, we will simply have different regrets to obsess on later. I think regret is an inevitable constant in life, so we just have to learn not to let it control us.
When we experience something we feel feelings about it. Most of us believe those feelings are what inform our thoughts about the experience -- and they can. However, feelings actually reside in the brain and how we think results in feelings not the other way around. How we perceive an event or experience is a kind of thinking and feelings are a kind of thinking. So the real process looks like this:
Ever wonder why, no matter how many times you tell yourself you will not do something, no matter how many thoughts of inspiration, encouragement and willpower you think you end up doing that thing you specifically told yourself not to do? That's because our actions come from our feelings. BUT -- our feelings come from our thoughts. Sometimes it takes a while for our feelings to catch up to our new or different thought process, but we will finally see our actions in alignment with our thoughts if we force ourselves into the rather uncomfortable process of re-directing of our thoughts. Thinking about things a different way than we are used to, seeing it from a completely different angle. Eventually we will feel differently about the situation and once that happens, actions happen in accordance to the thoughts. But it can take a while. You know, like this:
