Wednesday, April 04, 2007

The Case of the Scurrying Scissors

I think the highest item on my What I Hate Most About Being A Mother list is not being able to find my things when I look for them. Maybe its because I shared my body, my boobs, my bed and my whole freaking life with these people that they think everything is fair game? I've torn through this house like a banshee many times yelling, "WHERE IS MY [insert missing item here]?!? WHO TOOK IT??? PUT IT BACK NOW!!!" Yesterday morning it was my flat iron, you know, that appliance that straightens your hair, and I knew it was Son #2 who took it. He is more finicky about his hair than I am about mine. But he had already boarded the school bus and Son #3, who I tend to assume knows everything about Son #2 but isn't telling lest he get smacked in the nuts by same, stood by going, "I dunno what he did with it." My daughter found it and gave it to me, but that hardly relieves the aggravation of everything I own being community property. They have helped themselves to my costume jewelry (yes, my boys have -- silver chain necklaces, small hoop earrings, etc.), my electronic equipment, mints in my purse, my jeans, my socks, my toothpaste, hair products, razor, and pretty much anything else they thought they could not do without. Son #1 even once wore my nightie. Ok, so it looked a lot like a Henley thermal shirt, but still. I have threatened their very lives if anyone even so much as lays a finger on my purse, my iPod, my jewelry ANYMORE! They touch my laptop, they will be subjected to medieval torture devices followed by a very slow and painful death.

I know this is karma. I was a very inconsiderate teenager. I "borrowed" both my mom's and my sister's stuff without asking. A lot. They would get so angry with me, but for some reason it didn't faze me. When I had three boys I thought, well at least they won't borrow my clothes and jewelry and other girl stuff. Ok, I was wrong. It's my daughter who doesn't. My sons? Sure. What is up with that? My daughter is the only considerate one. She has always asked to borrow CD's, books, jewelry, and has asked to look at my tarot decks. If I say no, she doesn't do it anyway. Thank Goddess for her.

There is one item that is still missing and it is just nagging at me. The dog scissors. We have a standard brown poodle, Sophie, who requires regular grooming maintenance. As such she has her own scissors. Last time I was grooming her, I threw the scissors in the box, and when I went to get them out again they had-- POOF!--disappeared. I went ranting through the house. Some boy with a need to cut his hair had surely made off with them. The DOG scissors. Ok, there are lots of scissors in this house and I'm always finding them laying on the bathroom counters with bits of hair in the sink. So why the DOG scissors? I dunno. But she's having many consecutive bad hair days and I need them.

Some say you can find missing items with tarot cards. I've heard stories. Several of them. I really don't doubt it. I know our subconscious minds are treasure troves of untapped storage, so tarot cards would be useful to locate missing items. So let's try it, shall we?

Where are the missing dog scissors?

Ah, so the King of Cups took them! Alright, fess up, where are they? In a cup? Somewhere near water? Ok, well, I was grooming the dog last in the bathroom. I need to check all the bathrooms because that's also where the boys like to do their own grooming as well. Hang on...I'm going to go look. Ok, nope. But I did find a pair of scissors I think I can use. They're not THE scissors, but they might work. We don't have any fish, so don't suggest looking behind the fishtank. Oh! They might be at their father's house. I will have to ask him. I will keep you updated whether we find the scissors or not and where they were found to see if they have anything to do with the King of Cups.

Meanwhile, if any of you have any solutions apart from thumbscrews for prohibiting the children from absconding with my things, let me know. Thank you.

14 comments:

Evangelios said...

First I must say
LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love the part
"They touch my laptop, they will be subjected to medieval torture devices followed by a very slow and painful death." Thats is SO Funny, I love this post, your Humor was a nice way for me to end my day :)

I hate when I lose things. I used Tarot to find my wallet one day and GOt the 5 of wands. I looked in my School bad and it was there along with 5 penciles!

If your kids are taking your things you should start to take and hide there stuff. Do they have an Ipod?? Well hide it or anything they love, and see them go crazy trying to find it.

Happy Scissor Hunting :)

Roswila said...

ROTFLMAO!

Oh, my, now that I've caught my breath, I wish I could help, but I've had the exact same problem with roommates over the years (and I've been doing the roommie thing for 44 years). Except for this last one, who always asks...even when I buy her the item she didn't have (she found 5 nail clippers in her room recently LOL!). Something about karmic supply and demand? Thing is I don't mind the borrowing, if they are careful not to break whatever it is, as long as it's put back where they found it. Simple enough concept, but roommies just don't get it, but they also don't get it with their own stuff which is why they have to borrow mine -- they can't find theirs. LOL!

As to using The Tarot to find missing things? That's never worked for me. I'll be curious to see how it turns out for you. My association to The King of Cups might be someplace dark and deep that the sciccors fell into (behind a bookshelf or the refridge?)... :-)

Ginny said...

Hmmm...I like your suggestion, Evangelios, of hiding their stuff then humming sweetly to myself as they scour the house in a tizzy.

Somewhere dark and deep, roswila? Good one. I'll think about that. Could be the hellish pit that is the boys' room.

Carol said...

NO KIDDING!!!! You hit one of my sore spots. I've had to put up with it all my life. I'm the oldest of five. Those other kids took everything of mine and didn't put it back. Believe it or not, I have a green comb that I got when I was six. I hated for my sister to use it. She would anyway. Even now, when we're 48 and 43 years old, she goes looking for that comb so she can torment me by using it. I hide it. I hide it from everybody. It represents the one thing nobody else can take from me.

To show you how bad it gets here, my son took my dental tools--because I can't wait for cleanings--and used them to dig out his ingrown toenail. And then put them in his drawer in his bathroom.

My advice, get yourself an apartment, don't tell anybody where it is and put all your stuff there. Buy dummies of everything to keep at home so they don't know.

Lauren Miranda said...

What a torturous situation... I am suddenly glad that I was never able to have children! I understand this experience, however, as my former husband had a nervous habit of "re-arranging" my belongings (even re-shuffling a stack of paper) which invariably sent me into a rabid rage. I must have said (through clenched teeth) DON'T TOUCH MY THINGS about 4,000 times before I finally divorced him. No, I do realize that you cannot divorce your children. My only suggestion is to install locks on everything, or perhaps simply ONE on your bedroom door (the key should be kept around your neck at all times). How very frustrating for you to not have your personal space and belongings respected.

I, too, look forward to hearing whether the King of Cups offers a trail to those needed dog scissors!

Lauren Miranda

~Jennifer said...

No help from me. I'm in the same boat. I can't even keep them from walking into my bedroom without knocking whenever they please. I've told them I will not be held responsible for what they may encounter when they do that.

Anonymous said...

ROFL!!!!! I am still trying to catch my breath. The only solution to the never ending: "What's mine is mine, and what's yours is mine" is for them to move out once and for all. BUT wait, then they come back and you have to hide or "lend" out your things again.. Solution to the problem?? Buy new scissors and change the locks on the door! LOL.. still laughing

AS far as locating what is missing with Tarot. Not so sure how effective that would be.. then again I never tried it.. I simply changed the locks on the door.. just kidding.. still will hide my mascarra from my daughter's wandering fingers..

Blessings,
Carole

Ginny said...

OMG, Carol. Dental tools in toes. GROSS. Gawd that makes me fume. Well, you know where Tori found my flat iron? In their bathroom under the cabinet, as if it belonged to him. The apartment idea sounds glorious.

Lauren, it is aggravating to not have one's personal space and things respected. My mom did install a lock on her bedroom door because we were doing similar things as kids, so I'm seriously considering the same.

LOL, Jennifer, I know. I might be doing godknowswhat and it would be more embarrassing for them than me, I assure you. But yet again this morning, as I was trying to sleep, Jonathan waltzes in my room and heads to my bathroom to use the hair straightener. I am taking him TODAY for a haircut, so we hope this helps. Meanwhile, I am going to buy him his own. I'm tired of this.

*sigh*

Anonymous said...

I've been meaning to try this out for a while: http://www.supertarot.co.uk/astro/horary.htm

Water: In water, lowlands, near moisture. Fountains, bathrooms, oil tanks, liquid containers.

Libra: Attics, mountain tops, sides of hills, stony or sandy ground, fresh air, wardrobes, upper rooms, high places, bookshelves.

Scorpio: Rubbish tips, rubbish bins, near water, infestations where cockroaches, rats, plumbing, kitchens, washrooms, cemeteries. Stagnant water, where flooding occurs. Underground tunnels, secret drawers, hidden places, haunted places.

I'm voting for the bathroom.

Ginny said...

Carole, I think I shall move and leave no forwarding address. ;)

Still no sign of the scissors, but I did ask Jonathan (Son #2) if they might be at his dad's house. He said maybe. Hmmmm. His dad will be moving house soon, so maybe they will turn up.

I have been checking drawers and hidden places like crazy. Will keep looking. Thanks Leisa! :)

rebecca-smiles said...

Under the (kitchen) sink? or, where do you sit and drink/be creative? within sight of where you sit.

I had a go at finding someone's mobile phone with tarot. we knew he lost it from his pocket along the canal. i came up with it being by both water and fast moving traffic and a bridge. i couldn't make out the chariot until we started looking and realised it might be a bike or car if someone picked it up. a lady rang his friend to say she had it. turned out she found it by a bench opposite a bridge with the railway behind the bench, right by the canal. she found it while sitting their with her kid in a pram (chariot). If i read to find objects i go for either literal imagery or lateral thinking rather than card 'meanings.'

Ginny said...

Yeah, the literal images seem to work best, as far as I can tell from what I have heard. I asked the kids' dad if he's seen the scissors at his house, but he's in mid-moving house, so until he sorts through stuff he won't know. The mystery continues.

Anonymous said...

Hello Ginny, I don`t know how old are these posts... Did you find the scissors?

Ginny said...

No, I never did find the scissors and it STILL bothers me!

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