Monday, January 14, 2008

A Cluttered Mind

I've been trying to figure out which tarot card exemplifies the theme of my life at the moment and like potato chips, I can't pick just one. The divorce has left me financially devastated. That would be five of pentacles. I'm losing the battle of the bills. The Wheel of Fortune would fit, though I'd be on the bottom hemisphere at the moment. Then there is the 5 of cups, which is me right now because I can't seem to see past my current situation. I still have hope, though, and the Star shines in the darkness and tells me that things will get better, and that does give me some peace. I work and work and work at a pretty unexciting, repetitive job to pay what bills I can, so that's 8 of pentacles. I'm trying to deal with it all with Strength. Where's that Magician when I need him? I need Rumpelstiltskin, actually, to spin this straw into gold.

SIGH

Here's the deal: I'm about to lose my internet connection because I can't pay the bill. If you feel inclined to help, check out my tarot reading page and I'd love to do a reading for you. I also take donations, just let me know whether its for a reading or not.

I will say that when I do readings on this mess, awfully good cards often show up in the outcome position, so I'm confident that things will work out for the best. It's just that its really hard to see that right now. Then I think tarot is lying to me and then what? Throwing the cards across the room just invites a lovely game of 78 card pick up. Not only that, it's so hard to intuit esoterically when I've got pentacles problems staring me in the face. My car needs a major repair so it can pass emissions and be registered, my cable and phone bills are past due. I just put groceries on the credit card. I try to remember things certainly could be worse, but I don't want to think about that.

So this dilemma asks the question: How does one accurately read tarot when the mind is cluttered with all this mundane bullshit? Not easily. When I'm in such a state of mind, inevitably the High Priestess wants to show up and mutely accuse me that I already know the answers to my own questions if I could just calm down and listen to my senses. Oh, go the hell away already! I can't tell her to shut up because she doesn't say much. She simply sits there with her Mona Lisa smile and her book of answers clamped shut tight. Next up is The Fool, and in such a mindset I am apt to look past all his wonderful qualities and only hear tarot shrieking at me, "You FOOL! You should have known better than to take that leap! Now look at you!"

For example, here's a reading, a simple three card Situation/Advice/Outcome on this predicament and my initial interpretation:



Well, there I am, the beggar. I need money, for sure, and while I'd rather not take any handouts, I'm needy and desperate. Gah. That's not very flattering. It's making me feel pretty humiliated and vulnerable right about now. Then the advice shows, what did I tell you, the Magician! Somehow I am supposed to be able to pull a rabbit out of this hat? It's telling me I have all the tools I need to create my own reality. Or my own illusions, anyway. And isn't it just like tarot to give me a court card for an outcome. Good lord. Exactly. The King of Cups. (Why is that card always showing up in my readings? Who the heck is he???) At this point I'd have rather seen the King of Pentacles who at least might loan me some money, but here I have the King of Cups who is here to rationally deal with my fears and stirred up emotions. But honestly, all I see when I look at this card is a man adrift on the sea which is exactly how I feel.

So who wants to take a crack at this reading and approach it with a clearer mind? Mine is entirely too cluttered to deal with it.

11 comments:

suz said...

my thoughts are based on just looking at the imagery of the cards. 5 pents - financial/material hardship ... maybe this is where the act of asking is taking place? advice: seeing the magician makes me think: as above, so below. something about manifesting... becoming a channel to manifest something. and the king of cups as outcome ... uh, just sit there and hold your cup upright to catch the goodies coming your way? or what if you need to become more like the king of cups or access the king-of-cups part of you (calm in a crisis, intuitive,help, compassion, shower of the way?) to get you moving in a direction away from the financial difficulty. just my thoughts - thanks for the opportunity

Jennifer said...

My guess on the King of Cups is that you will stay afloat in the end. You won't fall headfirst into disaster, but you won't be rich either. But you will keep your wits and will stay afloat amongst your emotions, your situation, and whatever you faced before.

Evangelios said...

I think the Magician is a sign that you need to be ur own boss now or to take some more control in some sort....

Shenaz said...

hi,

according to me the king of cups says that you need to keep your head in this crisis and you will just come out of it.Tolerance will create the change you seek

Anonymous said...

Gosh Ginny,

Bummer about your financial situation. Just now had a chance to check your blog. Are you still available online to do readings?

The Magician in this case to me seems to point out his Mercurial/Communicational aspects, which is I think what you're doing...being adaptable about the situation, expressing to others fearlessly and effectively, in spite of your vulnerability and cares of what they may think. Rather than lying around in pity, you're taking action.

The outcome shows you getting creative and following your instincts a bit more than usual, in spite of the fear and mind tricks... managing your emotions despite the difficulty of the situation. It's almost like the culmination of previous emotionally challenging situations. You're getting better at it. Leaves me feeling warm. The King is on top of things, he trusts himself.

The Six of Pents is upright, which to me bodes well.

Imagine projecting yourself into the future, to a time when material needs/survival fears are not an issue....

Brad J.

Maria Hawk said...

Hello Ginny,

Your situation reminds me of my own, several years ago --- 3 young kids, a busted marriage, no $$, no child support, no faith whatsoever in drawing upon my talents/skills/gifts to generate income, working jobs that made me half-crazy just to survive, etc. etc. Not a fun way to live but I did what I had to do, as you are doing.

Now to your cards: 6/Pentacles is Assistance given or received. You identify with the beggar. Beggars are powerless to provide for themselves. Yet I-Magician reminds you that you have all the tools in hand to assist yourself. King of Cups is a person (you) who either works from home or wants to work from home. Profit is not the main motive, love of what you do is the key for this King. So to me, the cards clearly show that what you really want is to have your own business which you can run from home, something you genuinely love to do --- not just something that makes $$, that you have the tools/ skills/ wherewithall to do that (I-Magician) but you do not have the belief in yourself that you can provide for yourself (6/Pentacles and your identification with the Beggar character). So I would counsel that you need to really examine this belief you seem to have that you are not capable of adequately supporting yourself through your own talents/skills/passions but must take on unsatisfying **jobs** and/or rely on the assistance of others (6/Pentacles) because you're not capable of taking care of yourself.

In my system of reading, I add up the numerical value of the cards and reduce to a major arcana to get a Clarification or Missing Clue card. (A Major Arcana is its own number, Kings are 11, Queens are 12, Knights are 13 and Pages are 14 in my system.) So 6 + 1 + 11 = 18 = XVIII-THE MOON. This tells me two things: (1) it highlights the confusion you are experiencing and also SUGGESTS its illusory nature -- i.e., it is not **real** and it will pass, so don't get too hung up on it or take it as gospel... Second, it hints at the value of intuition and paying attention to psychic messages you may be receiving.

Anyone who has browsed through your website can see you are metaphysically knowledgeable and intuitive and a great writer. I believe you are more than capable of turning your skills and passions into a rewarding profession/ career you could run from your home. Writing for sure -- perhaps teaching/ holding classes -- as well as providing readings. Will that happen overnight? Probably not. However, I think you owe it to yourself to begin working on a plan to make it a reality for yourself.

In the meantime, get all the assistance you can get (6/Pentacles), whether that's food stamps or medicaid for the kids or rent assistance or whatever. King of Cups can also indicate a social worker, who could advise you of programs available to women in your situation and help you apply for whatever you may qualify for. In my book this is called **Stop the Bleeding.** You gotta do that first because how can you possibly focus on creating a better life for you & the kids when you can't even pay the bills and don't know if you'll have food on the table for dinner....

I hope something I've said makes sense to you and more than that, sparks an idea or insight. Take back your power, Ginny.

god/dess bless,
Maryhawk

shadowmeteresa said...

On the other hand, the Fool leaves you completely free to choose a new path and create a new life, something you will be able to do as soon as, as the person in the Five of Cups, you can turn around and focus on the unspilled cups, and the bridge across the river of tears and memory.

As someone already commented, it's always interesting to see who the querant identifies with in the Six of Pents. Try putting yourself in the position of the other people in the card and see how it might feel.

Sixes are always cards of balance, in this case financial and health. You may feel totally out of balance now, but maybe this is your time to receive where you have given in the past, bringing things full circle. In the future you will be in a position to give again, and to have money flowing more freely into and out of your life.

Those are the things that strike me at the moment... good luck. I know this time won't be easy for you. But knowing tarot as we do, I find it helps just to know the Star is there and to understand which cards you're in and why - and what comes after. Those Fives lead to the Sixes - and that will be a relief.

- Teresa

Tarot Lover said...

Very nice blog. I just passed here because of the Tarot and it was a nice surprise...

Kobarot said...

In addition to what everyone else said, The Magician is a lot about clear and focused thought. I guess it's sort of "duh!" but you won't be able to help anyone if you can't prioritize and be rational (sort of echoing what shadowmeteresa said). One thing at a time and all of that.

I think you'll get a handle on it, though, because I think the King of Cups strikes a nice balance between lots of emotion and drive/optimism and common sense. Once you declutter your mind, that kind of balance comes a lot easier.

Lots of hugs!

RChMI said...

Situation: 6 Pentacles is Moon in Taurus - The Moon relates to the Soul, Taurus relates to the ideal of Domination... You are lacking in a need of a more liberating atmosphere/situation to accommodate the needs of the Soul.

Advice: Magician is Mercury - Mercury relates to communication and that of the Pelvic Chakra, which deals with the acquiring of aspects of comfort... You need to be able to better communicate within before attempting to communicate without. Endeavour to gather about you those things/ideas/people that will promote this inner dialog.

Outcome: King Cups is Fire of Water - Fire of Water is Will modifying Emotions. With a stronger connection to your Inner Self, your True Self will be better able to bring emotional aspects of Self into focus with the Cosmic Synergy.

Anonymous said...

Hi Ginny, thanks for the chance to do this. I think that there is going to be more than enough money to go around. I know you might not be able to believe this at the moment, but out of the blue the problem will resolve. ( just like magic) The King of Cups at this point in time is your shoulder to lean on, he gives you very wise advice and teaches you how to see things from another perspective. I know thigs will improve around you very soon.

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