Tuesday, December 07, 2010

Tangled Webs We Weave

Relationship readings.  The boon and the bane of every tarot reader's practice.  I love them and I hate them.  I love them because I'm all about relationships.  People are so interesting and difficult to predict.  Even so-called "predictable" people are known to throw a definitive curveball on occasion.  The fascinating thing about relationship readings is they, too, can throw a distinct curve.  I am a woman who has seen her share of relationships and consider myself fairly knowledgeable about the tendencies and patterns of people.  But I am routinely surprised when tarot pipes in with some off the wall advice or outcomes to relationship questions.

Most often, the scenario that seems to unfold is that what appears to be the death knell of many relationships, tarot chimes in with, "It's not over."  It causes me, as a reader, many shakings of my head.  I sometimes wish it would say differently.  I wish it would just put the poor heartbroken client out of their misery.  But then, it's not up to me to pontificate on what I think would be best, that's not why my clients ask me to read tarot for them.  Still, even when tarot says, "It's not over," also does not mean there will be a happy ending.  At least not in the way one may imagine.  Many times I've seen, via my repeat clients, the story of a relationship unfold, one reading to the next.  Sometimes, when tarot says, "It's not over," is because the querant isn't ready for it to be over.  There may be unfinished business, not only between the couple, but most often, inside the querant themselves. One more round between them is exactly what my client may need before they can cleanly let go.  So just because a tarot reading may indicate that there is unfinished dealings between a couple, it doesn't mean the reconciliation is pending.

Predicting other people's behavior is really tough sometimes.  I have a spread that examines someone's thoughts, feelings, desires and likely actions in a relationship and there is almost always a glaring disparity between what someone wants versus what they will likely do.  I find that fascinating, but I am quick to remind my querants that I do often see that disparity and just because someone may want to be your Knight of Cups doesn't mean they will act on it.  Likewise, just because they may want to run away and never speak to you again doesn't mean they will.  The thing to remember, too, and this is crucially important, is that a relationship reading is primarily about you.  It's only secondarily about the other person.  All insights tarot may have are for you to consider about yourself, your thoughts, your feelings and your future actions.  While it may certainly help you better understand someone else, ultimately you are the one in control of your choices and responses.

A tarot relationship reading can help one be better prepared for making those decisions.  It can affirm what you may already be feeling about what to do.  It can calm the freakouts and allow you to rationally and somewhat objectively assess your next move.  The finest benefit is that it creates a time for you to re-evaluate your own feelings and whether or not you want to continue pursuing a relationship with that other person.  It serves the querant best when it is viewed as a way to feel more empowered in a situation where fifty percent of the interaction is entirely out of one's control.  Because ultimately, you are in the drivers seat of your own life and that includes your relationship choices.

6 comments:

Carol said...

What spread do you use for relationships? I do think it's the most common reading. Even if the reading isn't about a relationship, there's often some aspect that depends on one. More good tarot food for thought. Thanks, Ginny.

Ginny said...

I have several, so it depends on the question/situation. I sometimes create one specifically for the client's unique question/relationship/situation.

Pietra said...

This is something really interesting... because, in many cases, people tend to want dig the other person - who is not even there (is he going to do what I want? Is he going to leave his wife for me?)... hate that...

However, what I love is that: 1. there are great decks to look at it, such as the Lover's Path; 2. there are, sometimes, things that you simply look at and you see happening, as my friend's wedding when I saw the Emperor on one of her readings... I actually saw him asking her to marry him... cute!

Libras! lol

Jennifer said...

Oh, I hear ya. I did a relationship reading for someone years ago who had just been dumped. When this happened, she told me some dicey things about the guy--mostly I remember that he was a total slacker, which triggered off my own personal memories of being dumped by a slacker (and I was better off for it). I told her it was over even though the cards said different. They're married now. So yeah.

I am frustrated now that a friend of mine with a verbally abusive husband always gets these indecisive tarot readings about the situation. Tarot thinks "eh, same difference if you leave or not," apparently. It's so irritating.

Ginny said...

Hi guys! :D Eh, Pietra, I know how they always want info on the other person, which is understandable because it can feel very restricting being in a troubled relationship. You feel and think as if you can't make a decision unless or until the other person does. Which is not true, of course, and I love the readings that set that power firmly back into the querant's hands. Which I try to do. Always. When it comes to questions such as, "Will he leave his wife?" I usually remind them that whether he does or he doesn't, does not guarantee he will want to commit to them. So really, what does it matter what he decides to do regarding her, what matters is what YOU decide to do regarding him.

LOL, Jennifer re: the woman w/ the slacker now married. Yeah, we take our lumps as readers. It's like, *gulp!* I should have kept my own nosy opinion out of it, right? :D Well, we've all been there, done that. The abusive relationship issue is complicated. Tarot is telling the truth -- until she is ready to draw her boundaries in a firm way, she will continue to return to the same old, same old, even if they are not physically together. While it is not at all her fault for being mistreated, only she can set those boundaries and stick to them. Also, most abusers will continue to harass their victims through the separation and divorce process and if they have children together, dealing with him on a regular basis with them will allow his manner with her to continue as well. Helping her focus her questions on what she can do NOW to help her situation, not necessarily leave or don't leave, might yield better results.
It may show her action items she can do or ways in which she can strengthen and heal inwardly even while staying...for now. Then again, you may have already covered those areas.

Tracey said...

I can't tell you how empowering my reading was right before I left my verbally/emotionally abusive husband. I do believe the reading came to me just when I needed it (spur of the moment), and it very much put the ball in my court and emphasised my need to make choices for myself... it helped that it was an extremely accurate reading. So I would definitely suggest to your friend that whatever the cards say, they're an indicator of out come based on the current path, which she can change if she wants to. Not fun sitting there watching your friend tolerate a situation that she would condemn if she saw it happening to someone else...

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